Daniella Duke

LIVING Kidney DONOR NEEDED

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" —Mary Oliver

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" —Mary Oliver

I am forever grateful for the deceased donor kidney transplant I received in 2021. I hoped it would give me many years of good health. Unfortunately, as a result of multiple infections, the transplant is now failing, and I am once again actively searching for a living kidney donor.

These past five years have been so precious to me. They have given me more time to watch my children grow into amazing, kind, and thoughtful young adults, to spend time with my loving husband, and to appreciate the home and life we have together.

They have also given me the freedom to enjoy so many ordinary things that I never want to take for granted: going out for a cup of coffee or playing Mahjong with friends, making new friends, and simply being able to get out and enjoy the world around me.

I love being active. I walk or hike most days, do Pilates, lift weights, and swim in the ocean. I've also been able to volunteer at my local library mending books and to work with the National Kidney Foundation, including taking part in one of their podcasts to share my experiences.

Living with chronic kidney disease for most of my life has taught me how important it is for me to keep moving, take care of myself, eat well, and make the most of the life I have. Dialysis has made all of that much harder, but I still try to get up, get moving, and do the things I enjoy.

During COVID, I learned how to work with glass and created a glass workshop in my basement to make mosaic art and stained glass. Kidney disease has also brought plenty of dark days and more than a few gut punches. Over the years, I have learned to lean on my family and friends, appreciate the good days when they come, and keep going when things are difficult.

My first transplant came from my oldest sister, and it lasted for more than 20 years—years for which I remain incredibly grateful. Since donating, my sister has continued to lead a full and healthy life. When that transplant finally stopped working in 2021, I was fortunate to receive a deceased donor kidney without having to return to dialysis.

These transplants have given me 26 years of life that I might not otherwise have had, and I am profoundly grateful for that gift. Wherever this new journey leads me, I hope for the chance to keep living the ordinary life that means so much to me—time with my family and friends, staying active, being creative, and simply being able to enjoy the small, everyday moments that make life special.

Right now, I am on dialysis. It has been much harder, both physically and emotionally, than I imagined. It often leaves me feeling sick, weak, and exhausted. It is keeping me alive, but sometimes it feels as though so much of life revolves around simply making it to the next treatment and hoping it goes well—without a bad needle stick, complication, infection, or machine problem. I am deeply grateful that dialysis is here to keep me alive. At the same time, I struggle with how much it takes out of me and how much it can take away from the life I still want to live.

I have been approved for a third transplant. The average wait time for a deceased-donor kidney in my area is more than 5 years. I have been on the waitlist for almost 2 years. My own experience has shown me just how much a transplant can change a life. Living-donor kidneys often last longer and function better than kidneys from deceased donors, which is why finding a living donor would make such a difference for me.

A living kidney donor would give me the best chance of regaining my health and staying active. Most people are born with two kidneys and can live a healthy life with one, which is what makes living kidney donation possible.

My middle sister cannot donate because she also has polycystic kidney disease. My husband wanted very much to donate, but a medical issue discovered during his evaluation ruled him out, which was terribly disappointing for him. My brother-in-law also stepped forward and was ruled out because of an issue with one of his renal arteries. Several friends have offered as well, but so far none has been able to donate. I am incredibly grateful to every one of them for trying.

Deciding to be a living kidney donor is a big decision. I would never pretend otherwise or expect someone to make that decision lightly. To me, there is something extraordinary about one person being willing to help another in such a profound way. I know firsthand what that generosity can mean—not just to the person receiving the kidney, but to an entire family.

Thank you for reading my story and for even considering being a living kidney donor. Whether or not donation is something you ultimately decide to pursue, I am grateful that you took the time to learn a little about me and why the hope of another chance at a healthy, active life means so much to me.

Notes:

All the costs of a donor's medical expenses are paid for. The donor qualifies for paid medical leave from work while recovering.

Websites like the ones below can answer many questions you might have about being a living kidney donor:

https://www.kidney.org/kidney-topics/becoming-living-donor

https://www.nkdo.org/faqs/

https://www.kidneyregistry.com/for-donors/i-want-to-learn-more-about-living-kidney-donation/kidney-donation-facts/

If you think you may want to be my donor, or just want to find out more information about being a living donor, call my Transplant Center: Yale Transplant Living Donor Line: 866-925-3897

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